Politics and Social Media

Courtesy of DonkeyHotey

The 2008 election and this election are exciting for me. For most of my life, the candidates on either side were plain vanilla, which explains why the independents did so well in those years. Finally, the candidates can be differentiated from each other. People are voting for candidates rather than against them. And it's exciting.

The downside of this is its effect on social media. Facebook has been a war zone with supporters of both sides attacking and getting attacked for their viewpoints. However, my Facebook page is pretty peaceful. It's peaceful because of a decision I made early in my social media experience.

I have many friends who have views that are opposite of my views, and I commented negatively on one of their posts. My friend promptly deleted my comments, and life went on. She didn't unfriend me or even say anything about my opinion. I realized I like these people for reasons other than their politics, and I'm not willing to unfriend them. (Needless to say I would never be able to succeed in running for office because I have too many friends whose politics are different than mine and there would be a firestorm of controversy.)

I solved my social media dilemma by resolving never to post negatively on anyone's political post--ever. If I don't agree with a post, I just scroll past it. If someone comments negatively on one of my posts, I ignore it. I do this because the odds of me changing their view is as miniscule as their odds of changing mine. People make choices based on their personal circumstances, so who am I to suggests that their beliefs aren't as valid as mine.

My point is that it's not necessary to create a war zone in social media land. It's not necessary to go through massive unfriending, hurt feelings, or any drama whatsoever. I believe in a free country, and I give my friends the same freedom I embrace for myself.

Your Loved One—In the Hospital

Clipart from Clipartheaven.com

My son is nearing the end of a 2-1/2 week stay in the hospital, and here’s what I can tell you about hospital stays based on this and previous experiences.

Doctor’s Orders:

Find out what they are and watch the staff to make sure they are being followed. Nurses change shifts, skim orders, assume it’s been done, are overwhelmed, and they miss things—they are humans after all. Ask questions, ask again. Most nurses take this in stride, a few don’t, but that’s their problem, not yours. Your problem is making sure your loved one gets the care that’s been ordered for them. If your loved one has a wound, make sure the dressings are being changed per the doctor’s orders.

Standard Procedures:

Many practices are standard procedure. If you’re loved one is in a hospital that dates IVs, it’ll likely get changed appropriately, but if not, a standard IV site (where the IV is inserted in the arm) should be changed every 3 days. (Pic lines are different). Several times, my son’s nurse would come in and say it was in “way too long,” which goes back to what I said about skimming charts. Also, if the injury is to an arm, wristbands are available at most hospitals to prevent blood pressures or IVs on that arm. If your loved one doesn’t get one, ask for one. (Hospitalizations with arm injuries have happened twice in my family. With the first one, the wristband wasn’t offered for several days. The second time, we asked for the wristband immediately.)

Drugs:

Know what your loved one should be getting and how often. If they are in pain, ask for pain medication. If the nurse says it’s all the pain medication that’s ordered, and your loved one is in intense pain, ask her to check to see if something can be done. There may be more effective pain medication available with a doctor’s order. Also, if your loved one is given narcotics, ask about a laxative. Narcotics can and often cause constipation. (During a hospital stay for me, it meant a hernia operation later).

Hygiene:

Hospitals have toiletries. You can get toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, razors, etc. Chances are you weren’t planning to be in the hospital, and you didn’t bring those items with you. Ask if your loved one can shower, or tell the staff they need to be cleaned up. Hygiene falls to the bottom of the list in importance when your loved one is very ill, but being clean is important. Not only does it eliminate germs, but if you’re clean, you feel better. (Once, in the hospital, I wanted my hair done, and my hairdresser came to the hospital to do my hair).

The Night Shift:

Often the night shift is handled by a skeleton crew. If possible, stay or have someone stay with your loved one, especially if they cannot get out of bed by themselves. Most hospitals will accommodate a relative staying with a patient, and it helps them because you can do the small things. Hospitals are beginning to create a greater number of private rooms because of HIPAA regulations, which makes staying overnight easier. (I stayed with my son until he was mobile. One night his roommate’s daughter needed to go home. The roommate had attentive care while his daughter was there. After she left, her dad’s call light wasn’t being answered promptly, and when it finally was, it would take forever for the nurse to show up. I started ringing the call light for him, and the attentive service returned. I could see how important it was for someone to be there.

Meals:

If your loved one should be on a special diet, check the tray and make sure it’s what they should be getting. (My son was supposed to get double meat on his tray, which didn’t happen for almost a week, and not until I said something about it.)

If you’re staying all day or overnight, most hospitals will provide a tray (free or for a small fee) for you too, and too often they don’t tell you it’s an option. You need to ask, and you may have to ask at every meal.

Our family has had a number of hospital stays at a number of different hospitals, and these problems seem omnipresent. This information is based on our experiences. Experiences may vary, but based on conversations with others about hospitals, probably not by much.

Meanwhile . . .

During the time I was remodeling the laundry room, up through now, I've been writing. I've managed a poem a day. This process doesn't necessarily result in good poetry, but some of my efforts are promising, and with some diligent editing, could be excellent. And I've been doing much reading.

Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady



The novel drags a bit with its side character plots. At times, it's an exciting page-turner; other times, I'm tempted to skim. I'm at Chapter 42 and expecting things to wrap up, unless James pulls a Fielding, in which case, all will be revealed in the final chapter. I'd started the novel in school, and it's clear to me why among the other required books and novels, I waited. So far, I'm glad to have read it, and I'm intrigued by the definition of a "Lady" in that era.

Joseph J. Ellis, Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation



Founding Brothers is enlightening. Most of what's here, the basis of his thoughts on the origins of Americans and such, I already knew, but Ellis is making me see things in a new way. If only he'd stop telling me I'll see it differently once he explains it his way. He's beating the dead horse. Granted his field is history, not English.

Dorothea Lasky, Black Life



I like Lasky's poems, but at times they feel sinisterly Christian. I respect Christianity, but the Christianity feels veiled in fits and spurts. This is poetry after all, and I'd rather have it in fits and spurts than be clunked over the head with it. The poems are insightful and life-inspired. Definitely, a good read.

Susan Naomi Bernstein, Teaching Developmental Writing: Background Readings



Although informative, it is as dry as it sounds. I've learned quite a bit about student learning, and the information is helpful.

I'm supplementing Bernstein with lectures on The Art of Teaching: Best Practices from a Master Educator from Great Courses, which are fascinating and lively. I've watched these before, but a second look is never a bad thing. Not all of Professor Patrick N. Allitt's techniques will work well for Composition Classes, for the most part he shares excellent tips, which promise to move me forward on the learning curve.

Yes, I did finish my Master's Degree. No, I've not started my Doctoral work yet. Yes, I'm still studying. I'm an English Major. What can I say?

The Next BIG Renovation

My next big project is my office/writing room. And no, these are not from an episode of Hoarders.

The room has been our storage shed for the same 12 years the laundry room has leaked. The first step in renovating the room is to buy a storage shed. We decided we didn’t want to junk-up our new laundry room, and unfortunately, we don’t have and can’t afford a garage. We need some place for shed stuff to go. Right now, it’s hiding in my writing room and under the counter in our guest bathroom. Under the counter, you’ll find odd tiles, grout, the Sunbeam Mixmaster I use for mixing tile mastic and grout, extra light switch plates, buckets of screws, buckets of door hinges and door knob parts, the wax melter for my legs, and feminine hygiene products. What a treat for nosey people!

I plan to install wood floors, finish building the shelves (which you can see started in the pictures), and paint in relatively bright colors. I already have the area rug for the room (you can see a glimps of it in the second photo), so I’ve somewhat constrained my level of brightness. Bummer.

The Weekend Project

The weekend project, to fix up the laundry room since the roof leak has finally been fixed after 12 years, took 4 weeks. I'm still not finished. I'm waiting on 5 gallons of drywall mud to re-texture the ceiling (because of the extensive repairs from the roof leak, I'll have to texture the whole thing. After this, I can paint, and it'll be complete. I had a heating and air guy come in (because I'm an idiot and shut the wrong breaker off to work on the laundry room), and he said to tell my husband he'd done a fantastic job on the tile. Umph! I did the tile! I told him. Fortunately, he was sufficiently apologetic.

It came out pretty awesome, and it's nice to have the clean, wet laundry drop to clean tile when we oops, rather than dirty concrete. It's also a nicer path to take friends out to the back yard.

Plugged and Unplugged: The Consequences

I've been unplugged for the most part since Mother's Day, which has advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are, of course, that my family has enjoyed my nearly continuous presence during this time, I've accomplished a lot of reading, and I've written many poems. But unplugging has its disadvantages too, like neglecting my blog. I've kept notes for the blog all along, but at the end of my haitus come the questions: Do I write it all in one enormous overwhelming chunk? or Do I subdivide and make things manageable? Subdivision it is. I hope you enjoy!

Mothers' Day

To get my first Mothers’ day quibble out of the way, the apostrophe goes at the end of Mothers because the day belongs to all mothers, not just one. But, as long as you’re letting your mom know how much you appreciate her, I’ll let it slide.

It’s a hard day for me since my mom died. I want to revel in the appreciation my children show me, all the while, wanting to hide in the bedroom all day crying. I miss my mom, as much as anyone who’s lost his or her mom does. You may appreciate your mom, but you can’t really understand how important she is until you don’t have her anymore.

I’ll be staying at home, cooking for my children, again this year. I have been every year since the year we went to Red Lobster. I have nothing against Red Lobster; they were doing the best they could under the circumstances. What I realized there, and what had been an issue for me at every Mothers’ Day dinner out, was that on Mothers’ Day too many people want to take their mothers out, and too many people haul along children that have no experience going out. I felt like I was in Chuck E. Cheese, the maniacal birthday party factory. Every ten years, I swear I’ll never go back to Chuck E. Cheese again. After ten years, I forget, think ‘Oh, how silly of me,’ and go back. I imagine Chuck E. Cheese is one of the places that encourages the type of behavior in children in public that drives me nuts. I have no problem with taking children to eat in nice restaurants, even in restaurants much nicer than Red Lobster. If you want your children to act appropriately in public, you have to take them there and train them to behave. I understand that even the best children misbehave sometimes, which is not the issue for me. My number one quibble is the parents who let their children run around the restaurant, as though every adult will be as enamored by their children as they are and let their children stand in the seats, do disgusting things with their food or their bodies (and then laugh and encourage it), or bang on the table with the cutlery. Because parents who let their kids act inappropriately in public drives me crazy, I was miserable every Mothers’ Day we went out. So now, I cook at home like mom’s do and leave those whirling dervishes alone.

Happy Mothers’ Day!